【軍隊】戰場上的莫非定律

[卡塔納 10]

從別的論壇轉來的

有些真的是讓人會心一笑啊

1. You are not a superman

　　　你不是超人

2. If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid.

　　　如果一個蠢方法有效，那它就不是一個蠢方法

3.Don't look conspicuous-it draws fire. (This is why aircraft carriers are called"Bomb Magnets".)

別看起來太顯眼，那會引來敵火(這就是為什麼航空母艦又被稱為"炸彈磁鐵")

4. When in doubt, empty your magazine.

　　　覺得可疑？先打空一個彈夾再說

5. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you are.

　　　千萬别和比你勇敢的戰友躲在同一個傘兵坑裡

6. Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.

　　　千萬别忘了你手上的武器是由最低價的承包商得標制造的

7. If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush.

　　　如果攻擊很順利，那一定是中了埋伏

8. No plan survives the first contact intact.

　　　没有任何計畫能在接敵後不被修改

9. All five second grenade fuses will burn down in three seconds.

　　　所有五秒的手榴弹引信都會在三秒内燒完

10. Try to look unimportant because bad guys may be low on ammo.

　　　裝成無關緊要的人，因為敵人可能弹藥不够了(所以他會先打最重要的人)

11. If you are forward of your position, the artillary will fall short.

　　　每當要發起攻擊時，炮兵往往也會打的更短

12. The enemy diversion you are ignoring is the main attack.

　　　你忽視的敵軍往往是敵人主力

13. THe important things are always simple.

　　　最重要的總是最簡單

14. THe simple things are always hard.

　　　最簡單的總是做不到

15. The easy way is always mined.

　　　好走的路總是有地雷

16. If you are short of everything except enemy. You are in combat.

　　　如果你除了敵人以外什麽都缺,那你一定是在交戰中

17. When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy.

　　　如果你已經肅清一個區域别忘了告訴敵人

18. Incoming fire has the right of way.

　　　飛來的子彈有優先通行權(誰擋誰倒楣)

19. Friendly fire, isn't.

　　　"友"軍炮火.....不友善

20. If the enemy is in range, "SO ARE YOU!!!"

　　　如果敵人正在你的射程内......別忘了....你也是！

21. No combat ready unit has ever passed inspections.

　　　没有一支完成戰備的單位能通過校閱

22. Beer math is : two beers time 37 men=49 cases.

　　　啤酒專用計算法：每人兩瓶共三十七人，等於四十九箱

23. Body count math is : two guerillas plus one portable plus two pigs= 37 enemy killed in action.

　　　戰果專用計算法：兩名游擊隊、ㄧ名挑夫加兩隻豬，本次戰鬥共擊斃三十七人

24. Things that must be together to work, usually can't be shipped together.

　　　要湊在ㄧ起才能用的裝備通常不會ㄧ起配發

25. Radio's will fail as soon as you need fire support desperately.

　　　無線電總會在你急需火力支援時掛點

26. ANything you do can get you shot-including doing nothing.

　　　你作的任何事都可能挨槍子.......包括啥都不做

27. Tracers work both ways.

　　　曳光弹可以幫你找到敵人；也會讓敵人找到你

28. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is imcoming friendly fire.

　　　唯一比敵軍砲火還準還致命的是友軍炮火

29. Make it can't be tough for the enemy to get in and you can't get out.

　　　別搞成敵人進不來 自己也出不去的地步

30. If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will have more than your fair share of objectives to take.

　　　如果你的戰果超乎標準，那你接下來的任務也會超乎標準

31. When both sides are convinced that they are about to lose, they are both right.

　　　當雙方都覺得自己快輸的時候，他們都是對的

32. Professional soldiers are predictable but the world is full of amateurs.

　　　老鳥都是可預測的；但世上却充滿了菜鳥

[GN01700771 10]

反正就是很難贏就對了

[HOBA 10]

我有收到完整的100條,其實蠻多是有牽扯到英文的雙關語,中文看可能會看不出笑點:

1. Friendly fire - isn't.

友軍砲火->並不友善。

2. Recoilles rifles - aren't.

無後座力步槍->不存在的。

3. Suppressive fires - won't.

火力壓制->壓不住的。

4. You are not Superman; Marines and fighter pilots take note.

你不是超人海陸和戰鬥機飛行員要注意這點。

5. A sucking chest wound is nature's way of telling you to slow down.

胸部受傷是老天爺告訴你該慢下來了。

6. If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid.

假如這個笨辦法有效的話它並不算笨。

7. Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on you.

要看起來很遜的樣子因為敵軍可能缺乏彈藥所以就不會浪費子彈在你身上。

8. If at first you don't succeed, call in an airstrike.

假如一出手就不成功馬上叫空軍出擊。

9. If you are forward of your position, your artillery will fall short.

你推進的位置距離防線越遠我軍砲兵的射程就越短。

10. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.

絕不和比自己勇敢的人共用一個散兵坑(掩蔽所的代名詞)。

11. Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.

別忘了你的武器是由喊價最低的得標廠商所製造出來的。

12. If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush.

假如你在進攻時一帆風順敵軍正等著埋伏你。

13. The enemy diversion you're ignoring is their main attack.

你所忽略的敵軍的別動支隊是敵軍的攻勢主力。

14. The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions:

A. when they're ready.

B. when you're not.

敵軍只會在兩種情況下發動攻擊

A他們準備好的時候。

B你們沒準備好的時候。

15. No OPLAN ever survives initial contact.

沒有作戰方案在接觸之後還能留存的。

(‘接觸’是雙關語。其實莫非定律的內容大多是雙關語。)

16. There is no such thing as a perfect plan.

沒有所謂的完美計劃。

17. Five second fuses always burn three seconds.

五秒信管會在三秒內引爆。

18. A retreating enemy is probably just falling back and regrouping.

敵軍撤退可能是在轉進或重組隊形。

19. The important things are always simple; the simple are always hard.

越重要的事情往往也越簡單越簡單的事情也往往越困難。

20. The easy way is always mined.

越容易走的路線越容易有地雷(或陷阱)。

21. Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at.

團隊精神非常重要它提供給敵軍其他的射擊目標。

22. Don't look conspicuous; it draws fires.

別太囂張它會被人開火。

(不見得是來自敵軍。)

23. Never draw fire; it irritates everyone around you.

千萬別被人開火這件事會惹毛你週圍的人。

(週圍的人也包括敵軍在內。)

24. If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in the combat zone.

假如你除了敵軍以外啥都不缺那麼你已經在戰區了。

(敵軍也可做‘對頭’解。當過兵的都知道營區內什麼都缺就是不缺對頭。)

25. When you have secured the area, make sure the enemy knows it too.

當你確保了一個區域你最好確定敵軍也曉得這件事。

(他們要是不曉得的話你的長官就會叫你繼續在這裡出忙碌且無聊的任務。)

26. Incoming fire has the right of way.

來自對面的砲火通行無阻。

(來自對面的砲火未必是敵軍的砲火也有可能是友軍砲火。)

27. No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.

沒有備戰完成的單位能通過檢查。

(因為長官還是不會滿意的。)

28. No inspection ready unit has passed combat.

沒有檢閱完成的單位能通過實戰。

(長官滿意的條件也往往不符合戰場上的實際情形。)

29. If the enemy is within range, so are you.

假如敵軍在你的射程內你也在敵軍的射程內。

30. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.

比迎面而來的敵軍砲火還要精確的砲火是迎面而來的友軍砲火。

(小心背後遭到自己人開槍。)

31. Things which must be shipped together as a set, aren't.

要用船運送來的組件送不過來。

32. Things that must work together, can't be carried to the field that way.

必須組合使用的裝備帶不到戰場去。

(意思是需要的東西總是少一件。比如說帶了罐頭卻忘了帶開罐器。)

33. Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support.

無線電總是在你要火力支援時失靈。

34. Anything you do can get you killed, including nothing.

幹啥事都會導致你陣亡包括啥事也不幹。

35. Make it too tough for the enemy to get in, and you won't be able to get out.

你佈置的防線越是滴水不漏你也越出不去。

(馬奇諾和金馬就是一個例子。)

36. Tracers work both ways.

履帶車是雙效合一的。

(雙關語解釋履帶車需要兩條履帶都很正常履帶車可以迅速前進與倒退履帶車

可攻可守。它的主要意思是戰車兵不要亂衝啦)

37. If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will get more than your fair share of objectives to take.

假如你的提議中客觀的意見越多則你會得到更多客觀的建議。

(莫非其實是在說反話他的意思是如果你的提議都充滿了主觀的偏見那麼你自

然只能得到一堆充滿偏見的意見。)

38. When both sides are convinced they're about to lose, they're both right.

假如敵我雙方都覺得自己要輸了他們都對了。

(假如敵我雙方都覺得自己要贏了戰爭還是會繼續打下去。)

39. Professional soldiers are predictable; the world is full of dangerous amateurs.

專業的軍人是可以放心的但到處是危險的菜鳥。

(這是對自己人說的。)

40. Military intelligence is contradiction.

軍事情報是矛盾百出的。

41. Fortify your front; you'll get your rear shot up.

強化你的前線防禦會使你的後方吃緊。

(雙關語shot up可作‘緊張’解也可作‘門戶洞開’解。)

42. If you can't remember, the Claymore is pointed towards you.

假如你記不得的話大砍刀會指向你哦

(雙關語claymore也是一種地雷的名稱。總而言之佈置陷阱後別忘了誤中或是

逼供時用的辦法都是這句話的意思。)

43. The Cavalry doesn't always come to the rescue.

援軍並非常常來救你的。

(雙關語援軍可能是來找你的屍體的也可能來殺人滅口的更可能他們根本不知

道你是需要被救的。)

44. NAPALM is an area support weapon.

燃燒彈是區域性支援用武器。

(除此之外別以為它有其他什麼大用。)

45. Mines are equal opportunity weapons.

地雷是機會均等的武器。

46. Orbital bombardment is the ultimate close support weapon.

間接砲擊是最強的近接戰支援用武器。

(什麼炮都沒有迫擊砲好用。)

47. Killing for peace is like screwing for virginity.

為和平而殺人一如為保持貞潔而做愛。

48. The one item you need is always in short supply.

你最需要的裝備一定經常短缺。

49. Interchangeable parts aren't.

可互換的組件是無法互換的。

50. It's not the one with your name on it; it's the one addressed to whom it may concern you've got to think about.

簽有你名字的這組裝備並非屬於你的而是提醒你要好好保管這組裝備的。

(意思是你的麻煩正剛剛開始因為它被用壞了你無論如何都得負責。)

51. When in doubt, empty your magazine.

有問題的時候清空你的彈匣。

(不一定教你把它打光哦)

52. The side with the simplest uniforms wins.

制服樣式越簡單的一方越容易取勝。

53. Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps.

地面戰鬥往往發生在兩張地圖的交接之處。

(也就是需要作戰地圖時戰鬥地點往往在情報最模糊不清的三不管地帶。)

54. If the Platoon Sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.

假如班長看到你的話敵軍也看到你了。

(欺敵戰術要騙的第一個對象通常是自己人。)

55. Never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can lie down, never stay awake when you can sleep.

能坐下時別站著能躺下時別坐著能睡覺時別清醒。

(混是軍人的第三生命。)

56. The most dangerous thing in the world is a Second Lieutenant with a map and a compass.

全世界最危險的事情莫過於一個少尉的手上有一張地圖與指南針。

(簡單來說不怕官只怕管。此外美軍中的少尉只是消耗品所以大家都忙著求表現來陞官結果他們做的決定也往往不把士兵的命當命。)

57. Everything always works in your HQ, everything always fails in the Colonel's HQ.

任何通常在你的指揮所內有效的事物通常在上校(師長)的總部內就無效。

58. The enemy never watches until you make a mistake.

直到你犯錯以前敵軍從不注意你。

59. One enemy soldier is never enough, but two is entirely too many.

一個敵軍士兵太少兩個敵軍士兵就太多了。

60. A clean (and dry) set of BDU's is a magnet for mud and rain.

乾淨的野戰制服是招引泥漿與雨水的磁石。

61. The worse the weather, the more you are required to be out in it.

天氣越糟糕你越得出門。

62. Whenever you have plenty of ammo, you never miss. Whenever you are low on ammo, you can't hit the broad side of a barn.

當你彈藥充足時不用擔心打不準當你彈藥不足時你連靶子的邊都打不到。

63. The more a weapon costs, the farther you will have to send it away to be repaired.

越是昂貴的武器你送修的地點也越遠。

64. The complexity of a weapon is inversely proportional to the IQ of the weapon's operator.

武器的複雜程度與使用者的智商成反比。

65. Field experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

實戰經驗是用時學習方恨少的東西。

66. No matter which way you have to march, its always uphill.

不管行軍的方向為何永遠走的是上坡路。

(就算挑選的都是下坡路長官們會要你走加倍的路)

67. If enough data is collected, a board of inquiry can prove anything.

假如能收集得到足夠的資訊那麼開個會就能證明一切。

68. For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism. (In boot camp)

(在整訓中心裡面)任何一次行動都有對等且相反的批評。

69. When reviewing the radio frequencies that you just wrote down, the most important ones are always illegible.

無線電報的抄寫筆跡越是潦草的內容也越重要。

70. Those who hesitate under fire usually do not end up KIA, WIA or MIA.

希望被槍打中的傢伙通常不會有陣亡重傷或失蹤的下場。

71. The tough part about being an officer is that the troops don't know what they want, but they know for certain what they don't want.

對於軍官來說工作上最困難的部份是部隊並不知道他們要什麼但知道他們不要什麼。

72. To steal information from a person is called plagiarism. To steal information from the enemy is called gathering intelligence.

向別人偷取資料叫做抄襲向敵軍偷取資料叫做收集情報。

73. The perfect officer for the job will transfer in the day after that billet is filled by someone else.

適任的軍官被調來的那一天營房裡面的床位就不會缺。

(因為也就不會有人逃兵了。)

74. When you have sufficient supplies & ammo, the enemy takes 2 weeks to attack. When you are low on supplies & ammo the enemy decides to attack that night.

當你有足夠的彈藥與補給敵軍會在兩個禮拜後來攻擊你當你彈藥與補給不足時敵軍馬上行動而且今晚就來。

75. The newest and least experienced soldier will usually win the Medal of Honor.

新近入伍且實戰經驗不足的菜鳥往往能拿到榮譽勛章。

(MH章通常是給死人的。)

76. A Purple Heart just proves that were you smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.

紫心勛章是告訴你聰明到可以訂立一個計劃但愚蠢到去執行它並且還狗運到能活著回來。

77. Murphy was grunt.

莫非是白目。

78. Body count Math --> 3 guerrillas plus 1 probable plus 2 pigs equals 37 enemies killed in action.

殲敵計算方程式3具游擊隊員的屍體加1個可能擊斃的游擊隊員以及兩頭豬總共是消滅了37名敵軍。

79. The bursting radius of a hand grenade is always one foot greater than

your jumping range.

手榴彈的爆炸半徑通常比你跳躍的距離再長一英尺。

(意思是別為了耍酷結果錯誤的使用了手榴彈這種危險武器。)

80. All-weather close air support doesn't work in bad weather.

全天候近接戰用空中支援會在惡劣天氣中無效。

81. The crucial round is a dud.

最重要的子彈是啞彈。

(雙關語一要命的東西常常壞掉二彈匣裡面的第一發子彈通常是空包彈。)

82. Every command which can be misunderstood, will be.

任何命令如果可能被誤解的話一定會被誤解。

83. There is no such place as a convenient foxhole.

沒有啥叫方便的散兵坑。

84. Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last and don't ever volunteer

to do anything.

別做第一別落最後更不要自告奮勇。

85. If your positions are firmly set and you are prepared to take the enemy assault on, he will bypass you.

假如你防禦良好且如臨大敵敵軍會不甩你。

86. If your ambush is properly set, the enemy won't walk into it.

假如你已經布下天羅地網敵軍就不會走進圈套。

87. If your flank march is going well, the enemy expects you to outflank

him.

假如你的側翼在行進時毫無阻礙這表示敵軍正等你來迂迴他。

(雙關語敵軍犯錯機不可失敵軍扮豬吃老虎小心上當。)

88. Density of fire increases proportionally to the curiousness of the target.

火力的密度與轟擊目標的謹慎度成正比。

89. The more stupid the leader is, the more important missions he is ordered to carry out.

長官越笨所交代給你的任務越重要。

90. The self-importance of a superior is inversely proportional to his position in the hierarchy (as is his deviousness and mischievousness).

對一個長官來說他自大的程度一如他誤解與犯錯的程度和他的官階成反比。

91. There is always a way, and it usually doesn't work.

天無絕人之路只是通常沒用而已。

92. Success occurs when no one is looking, failure occurs when the General is watching.

平日成功無人見將軍臨檢百誤出。

93. The enemy never monitors your radio frequency until you broadcast on an unsecured channel.

敵軍不會找到你的無線電頻率直到你使用非機密性頻道為止。

94. Whenever you drop your equipment in a fire-fight, your ammo and grenades always fall the farthest away, and your canteen always lands at your feet.

交戰時如果你的裝備摔到地上彈藥和手榴彈會滾到最遠的地方可是水壺一定會落在你的腳上。

95. As soon as you are served hot chow in the field, it rains.

當你拿到熱食以後天就下雨了。

96. Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.

千萬別告訴班長你現在正英英美代子。

97. The seriousness of a wound (in a fire-fight) is inversely proportional to the distance to any form of cover.

交火時受傷的嚴重性與距離掩蔽所的長度成反比。

98. Walking point = sniper bait.

交通要道 = 狙擊手的誘餌。

99. Your bivouac for the night is the spot where you got tired of marching that day.

你在晚上站哨時的地點是你在白天行軍時的休息點。

100. If only one solution can be found for a field problem, then it is usually a stupid solution.

假如在戰場上遇到問題時所能找到立即解決的方案通常是愚蠢的辦法。

[vcharng 10]

47. Killing for peace is like screwing for virginity.

為和平而殺人﹐一如為保持貞潔而做愛。

64. The complexity of a weapon is inversely proportional to the IQ of the weapon's operator.

武器的複雜程度與使用者的智商成反比。

我喜歡47那句

不過64那句...

以冷戰的教育程度來說

拿AK的應該比拿M16的低吧???

而且我猜AK就是因為農工子弟不會保養槍而擁有超低故障率的...

而且...

我不認為開戰鬥機的會比拿步槍的笨......

[HOBA 10]

我喜歡47那句

不過64那句...

以冷戰的教育程度來說

拿AK的應該比拿M16的低吧???

而且我猜AK就是因為農工子弟不會保養槍而擁有超低故障率的...

而且...

我不認為開戰鬥機的會比拿步槍的笨......

64那句話的意思應該不是這樣解釋.

您不如把它看作"越能簡單操作的武器背後蘊藏的技術複雜度越高".

例如F-15的撿修需要整備班打開各個檢修門檢查,查閱各個技令來確認哪個零件該換了.

而F-22只需要一個地勤把檢修電腦接上,機上的自我測試系統即會告知地勤損壞位置與零件操作週期是否到達,甚至告知更換料件的號碼.

而為了達到後者如此簡單易用的程度,F-22的設計比F-15複雜上N倍..

[GN01700771 10]

雖然窮兵黷武很浪費資源而且會死人

但是有時候我真的不知道我會對軍事武器如此著迷

但是也沒有花很多時間去研究啦

指示知道自己很著迷而已

是身為人類的自豪嗎?

有天永遠不會來的外星人來了

還可以炫燿一番

看哪 這世界上那個種族比我們更強大(火力)的

[vcharng 10]

64那句話的意思應該不是這樣解釋.

您不如把它看作"越能簡單操作的武器背後蘊藏的技術複雜度越高".

例如F-15的撿修需要整備班打開各個檢修門檢查,查閱各個技令來確認哪個零件該換了.

而F-22只需要一個地勤把檢修電腦接上,機上的自我測試系統即會告知地勤損壞位置與零件操作週期是否到達,甚至告知更換料件的號碼.

而為了達到後者如此簡單易用的程度,F-22的設計比F-15複雜上N倍..

64不是講"操作者"嗎?

AK操作比M16簡單吧?

可是背後的複雜度.....似乎不是如此...只是AK比較堅固而已

可是我如果拿T91和M16比呢?

短行程活塞確實算比較複雜(比起直接導氣)

操作也比較簡單

那這句話就沒錯了

[vcharng 10]

雖然窮兵黷武很浪費資源而且會死人

但是有時候我真的不知道我會對軍事武器如此著迷

但是也沒有花很多時間去研究啦

指示知道自己很著迷而已

是身為人類的自豪嗎?

有天永遠不會來的外星人來了

還可以炫燿一番

看哪 這世界上那個種族比我們更強大(火力)的

唉...

戰爭啊...

在電腦遊戲上玩玩就好

武器啊...

擺在那裡好看就好

軍人啊...

穿著制服看起來夠帥好把妹就好...