【心情日記】2007/03


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再不久就要離開嘉中了!也許要見面的機會.真的是很小了!我喜歡你一年多了.因為一些心理的因素.我也不敢告白!也可以說是太害羞了!剩這幾個月..希望能多跟你說說話!哪天等我勇氣來了..再跟你要即時通吧!我年紀比你大三歲..我可以接受!但是就不知道你是怎麼想的!而且我想你身邊或許已經有人陪你了!我條件也不好..個性又悶!如果有機會交往.問題也是很大呢!(L)

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0313

一下課衝到吉他週攤位聽露天演唱 亂逛亂晃同樣地方走三回 偷偷走密門爬上學校頂樓

msn聊到內心深處 想做就做不管別人怎麼想怎麼看...

密謀的好開心,這才是我的風格。

這才是我。

我都沒緊張了,明天會很順利><

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噢!!!

今天很喪氣

結果補習班數學考90 =  =

有一題 我發現她答案錯誤

大概會100吧:)

可是可是

再交考卷之前 好掙扎 ˊ ˋ

怕怕怕 我害怕

以後 也會繼續吧

難道說

我要讓數學考卷嚇三年嘛 =  =

噢 老天 不要給我愛 給我勇氣

也許 不開心 可以更努力?

2007/03/14

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07/03/12~15

這幾天~生了重病

很多事要說~但不知道該怎麼開始~

這種時刻~我相信~

這個事件~有它獨特的意義~

以及它的必然性~

生病真的很奇妙~

會改變很多事~

今天~去了學校~我已經好很多了!

比起前幾天來說~

但還是有點怕怕的~

畢竟~這幾天一直發燒~

讓我感到恐懼!

轉眼間~一個星期又過去了~

雖然~幾乎是以生病度過的~

但~這~會是很大的一步!

希望~明天身體能痊癒

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今天..

應該說昨天聽說是唐牛的生日阿....

其實我也是很注重的啦

不然最後怎麼趕的上呢XD

應該算有趕上吧XDDDD

我又不是故意去跟學伴吃飯的= =

哎呀

都這麼熟了不要計較這麼多XD

昨天

很快樂XD

3/16

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07/03/16

今天~感覺也挺不舒服的~

這禮拜過去了!對我來說~

但~我都跟廢人一樣~

幾乎什麼都沒做到~

心情也很飄浮不定~

這樣~真的好累!

我已經好累好累了!但還是不能休息~

我無法休息~

這不是我的問題啊!

可惡~

最近真的好怪~

經過這次後~

另一邊~又扳回了一成~

看來~真的還有很久要撐!

希望~明天會完全痊癒

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2007。03。16

為什麼這麼難過

難過到我很想死

我從來沒像這樣

那樣的難過過呀

我發現我討厭他

想到他我就想哭

我生氣他的欺騙

他的不誠實讓我惱怒

我好想殺了我自己

我受不了這樣的情緒

我不能任由自己再見到他

我怕我會大哭大鬧加瘋掉

為什麼要這樣對我

我對他那樣的好

為什麼他要這樣對我

讓我難過成這個樣子

我真的是活該倒楣喜歡到他

我真的快瘋掉了

我真的真的 好想殺了我自己:'(

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07/03/16

對不起,送給你

或許...沒辦法改了吧

行為做的和心裡想的就是不一致(苦笑)

自己想到會很難過

就像今天在公車上這樣

你不是我,你不知道

傷害別人,就好像傷害自己

知道不可以這樣做,可是還是會很無恥的做下去

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

好奇怪...

好奇怪的地方

好奇怪的人事

好奇怪的相遇

好奇怪的對話

好奇怪的熟識

好奇怪的感傷

惹人厭的地方

惹人厭的人事

惹人厭的相遇

惹人厭的對話

惹人厭的熟識

惹人厭的感傷

看到某些陰暗狹小的隅

除了心酸,又還能說些什麼呢?

局外人 局中人 局內人

不知道

什麼都不是

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3/16

專題答應要給的總算勉強趕完....憑著對XX的一份熱血,寫了一篇熱血的話

然後我只是希望可以順利的弄完這些夭壽累的東西而已

明天會去.

-------------------------

又一隻西北蟆(哈).........

.......= " =+

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3/17

有點空洞,我說真的。

莫名興起一股強烈的厭惡感。

相似地,我也不喜歡。

報告,再下來是假期,還有出遊。 我要利用一種文體把不需要數學的日子寫出來!(笑)

乖喔孩子,都是你的 。(噓不要辯駁)

                    晚安,祝好夢。

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3/17

一個熱鬧的開始 亦是一個孤獨的開始

熱鬧過後 卻顯得特別的孤獨

無奈 落寞 忌妒 猜疑 擔心 害怕

一瞬間都湧了出來..........

好怕......

好怕失去現在的這份情誼........

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Robert breaks my heart.

Today we went out to lunch with him, since we got the highest scores on the midterm, and he promsied that reward in the beginning of section at the beginning of the quarter.We went to Boudin's in UTC. The night before he asked us what we wanted, and I found out that the gumball machine is also listed as a dining faclity at the mall, a dining facility without phone numbers-- which is pretty hilarious.

After Earth ended we went to sit at the bus stop and wait for him. He came at a liitle past one, and we took off to UTC. We didn't really eat anything at Boudin's, just sandwichs and Robert got this clam chowder in a bread bowl. I ended up not finshing my sandwich because the bread was wayyy too hard to chew (hahaha) and I didn't really like the cheese.

I must say that my biology TA is a super nice person. He's one of those people who you just really enjoy talking to without knowing why. I didn't think Christine liked him that much. We got to talk about a lot of the stuff, and learned that we're the first and only (since he's graduatig this quarter) students that he took out to lunch because of the high score on the midterm. What an honor.

Tuesday night he told us our score on AIM. "You can either ask me now or find out in lecture tomorrow," he said.

I wanted to know my score now.

"Go to Christine's room because I want you both to be together when I tell you your scores."

I know he's toying with us, and this made me really nervous.

"The high scores for the exam were 291 and 288, the low score was 23, and the mean score was 174. To not have to take the final, you need a 498 out of 584. Now, who wants to go first?"

I ended up going first.

" Okay Claire. So you got a 267 on the last midterm, and you will need a 231 on this midterm to not have to take the final."

Yes, I am well aware of what I got. Please, get on with it.

"Based on your score, I will be TAKING YOU OUT FOR LUNCH OR DINNER...."

I fell down on my knees and screamed, literally.

"Congratulations Claire, a 291."

This has got to be one of the most exciting moments of my college life. It is as if my heart was filled with a tangible substance of happiness, and the amount was way more than that I can take. I don't know if I was happy about setting the curve for three hundred people, or to be able to have lunch with him. However I must admit, the latter makes up a bigger portion of this tremendous joy.

"Now that was the fun for me." I can almost see Robert's mischievious smile on the other side of the conversation window.

After that I couldn't sleep. Thanks to all the excitments he's created.

I am begining to develop this I-can't-help-it admiration for Robert, as much as my liking towards him. I must say that he's rather handsome, with that sun-light smile of his. But there is something else about him that makes others look up to him; I guess that would be what you call charisma. He is a great TA and I will miss him and his section abundantly, more than anyone else can possibly imagine. I will hence quote a line from the Chronicles of Narnia:

"No matter what happens I am glad to have met you, Robert, and I am honored to be in your section."

(Too bad that he's taken, and too bad that he's graduating to go to dental school.)

I will see you tonight on AIM, Robert.

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