【Question】is the grammar correct?

[Esther Chang 10]

there is a article i write.

it is just a emotional causerie, so it's colloquial.

↓

I just want a person to hug.

and want someone to care me.

lately,

I feel that

" I cannot control my emotion. "

I become I can't find the happy thing.

and I often cry.

maybe it's not my world.

but I disagree.

I want everyone to treat me as a man.

I don't want to hide.

make my dream come true

always be sad

i don't want to think a lot.

but I cannot do it right.

perhaps

I should leave my love, my everythings

i don't want those arround me all my life

depression

is that correct?

hah

i have to pretend as a clown

i feel i am a good-for-nothing.

that's all.

is there anthing wrong?

(i am worried about GRAMMAR, because of my poor English.)

果然很糟糕．．．

不過．．．

謝謝啦！我懂～

[evenstar 10]

因純英語討論版並非供文法教學改錯等使用

所以移動文章到英語學習版

請此版同學們為發文樓主解惑

純英語討論版版主

evenstar

[dale 10]

there is a article i write.

it is just a emotional causerie, so it's colloquial.

An article. An emotional causerie.

and want someone to care me.

And want someone to care for me.

I become I can't find the happy thing.

Do you mean: "I don't know what makes me happy."?

I should leave my love, my everythings

My everything. Or you could use, "all that I have".

i don't want those arround me all my life

This sentence is awkward. What do you mean?

i have to pretend as a clown

I have to pretend to be a clown.

i feel i am a good-for-nothing.

I feel like I am [a] good-for-nothing.

[MikiRei 10]

" I cannot control my emotion. "

I cannot control my emotions

I become I can't find the happy thing.

likewise to Dale - what the....??

maybe it's not my world.

Maybe this is not my world. (Again, I'm not sure what you're trying to say)

but I disagree.

disagree about what? Up to now, it's still ambiguous as to what you're trying to express.

I want everyone to treat me as a man.

Grammatically correct but do you mean "man" as in a "person" or "man" as in the gender definition, "male"?

i don't want to think a lot.

"I don't want to think too much" might be better but the above isn't wrong.

I should leave my love, my everythings

I should leave my love, my everything

i don't want those arround me all my life

I've no idea what you're trying to say here........

其它dale 改過了

[kib60477 10]

"i don't want those arround me all my life"

是不是想表達 "我不想終其一生被這些那些圍繞"?

恩.....如果是的話是被什麼圍繞啊= =?

depression?

[evadne 11]

Implied from the passage,

"perhaps

I should leave my love, my everythings

i don't want those arround me all my life"

May I boldly make some postulations...

"i don't want those arround me all my life" means that

the author doesn't want those beloved thing, such as love or possessions, to annoy her.

And please give me pardon, to re-write the article in a heavily modified form:

**

I am so lonely, my desire for companion strong.

In these days I am losing control to my emotions:

depressed more often

and can't cheer up then.

I don't want to live in this world

that everyone can't treat me as I wished,

where I have dreamed of being a man so long.

It was always so depressing

to make dreams come true.

I don't want to think about something

over and over again,

but I just can't do it right at the moment.

Maybe I should stop and skip right now,

then abandon my beloved one and possessions:

all of them can't cheer me up as they usually do.

I'm so devastated. Was that a correct attitude?

I felt that I can only pretend there's nothing going on,

and I can't be confident any, any more...

**

Here's some words to the post initalizer:

Do you feel better now? If i) you feel better and can enjoy your life again, then it's over, but if ii) you need any assistance, I'm glad to help you. because a) I am in a similiar situation as you are, b) you just need some help that was more crucial than grammer checking.

**

And words to others:

If I make a mistake (occationally I make a lot of mistakes by misunderstanding the whole thing) please correct me. -> Si erro, amabo te, me mones!

[kib60477 10]

:o