英文文章需要大大修改

[ru031121 10]

一、我需要知道自己的文章如何加強以應付學測

二、該如何修飾文章以達高級分的水準

Today is the day which is worth celebrating,that is Desen’birthday

As we know,Desen’s parents gave a special presents to him

a car which he has desired of his dreams for five years,and

his friend Thari invited him to join the party

After chatting with him for a while,he ask me to sample vodka that

he brought from America,i agree it

when i go home, unfortunely,i feel so exhausted that i can’ concentrate

my attention on driving, in the blinks of eyes , i bump into the car that it

want to turn left,

A blessing in disguise , both of us are not get hurt

小弟第一次寫英文文章 需要些指點

[actino 10]

這個要不要轉到英文版去呀.....

[henry90121 10]

個人是覺得

標點符號+大小寫+文法要再注意一點

有些句子怪怪的

詳解由更強的大大來回答~~

[ToAsTy 10]

幫你修改一些我知道的 - - "

...,he ask me to sample vodka that

1.這裡 ask→asked

...,i agree it when i go home,...

1.這裡 I agree it 前面沒有連接詞 (EX ...,and I agree it)

2.I agree it when I go home 這句有點不懂 是 I agree it. When I go home 或是 I promised that I would drink it after going back home. ?

..., unfortunely,i feel so exhausted that i can’ concentrate my attention on driving

1.這裡不該用逗號 要用句號 (EX .Unfortunely...) 不幸地是副詞 沒有連接功能

2.feel→felt can't→couldn't

, in the blinks of eyes , i bump into the car that it want to turn left,

1.這句...錯蠻多的 而且意思不太懂 我就直接改了

"... 。(不是逗號) I bumped into the car , and tried to turn left . However , my mind was very chaos as if their were lots of stars around my eyes."

A blessing in disguise , both of us are not get hurt

1.其實這裡用luckily就好了- -

2.both of us are not get hurt→neither of us got hurt