【學習資源】這次北模的優良作品

[ly4317 10]

我校最高分......好強0_o

It was a warm midsummer evening, and a myriad of stars twinkled behind a crescent moon hanging high in the abyss that was the night sky. A lone teenager, with short blonde hair and a sleepy face, trudged tiredly through the gates that guarded the building behind him, which was already dark and as silent as the night itself. No more than 17 years of age, the teenager stood limply by a nearby bus stop, rust spotting the pole which had guided traveler home for long-forgotten years.

To the teenager’s surprised and joy, the long, rumbling vehicle he was waiting for arrived sooner than expected. Summoning the last of his strength and will, he climbed aboard the bus and fell heavily into a vacant seat. Weariness claimed him in that instant; he was asleep before adjusting to a more comfortable position. The bus rolled on, and the moon climbed higher in the dark abyss above.

When the teenager regained consciousness, he found his cheeks stinging and a little swollen. The left shoulder of his short sleeve uniform was wet with, after a little investigation, drool, and, after discovering that he was the only passenger lest, the teenager quickly looked outside the glass panels to his side. He was rewarded with completely alien surroundings, and, after the driver insisted he get out at the terminal stop, again stood by a lone pole spotted with rust. The moon, now descending from its long climb, shone on the lone teenager and the new terrain.

It was a war midsummer evening, and a myriad of stars twinkled behind a crescent moon receding under in the abyss that was the night sky.

[bubbles341990 10]

hmmm...我覺得自己都不一定比她/他寫得好(雖然 可能是我的寫作風格不一樣)

雖然....有些很莫名其妙的錯誤...(不是打錯字﹐是邏輯跟用字上的問題﹐難的字詞跟一些很簡單的夾雜在一起實在有點....> <)

不過有些句子真的寫的非常好

這篇幾分﹖

[john0312 10]

難的字詞跟一些很簡單的夾雜在一起實在有點

Quoting Michele Hernandez, "Those ten-thousand-dollar words always stand out like a jelly doughnut among the chocolate cremes."

[bubbles341990 10]

well, i think thats exactly the case here > <

[Ice Cream Cat 10]

超強欸，

我覺得我這個海外的超丟臉XD

[bubbles341990 10]

haha, count me in on that one> <

though there are some very weird things hiding in there